My husband is 64 and has had a drinking problem for at least 10 years. It’s become worse over time. He was told years ago that he has cirrhosis but that didn’t stop him from drinking. I begged and pleaded but he just didn’t want to help himself. Through counseling I was told that unless he wanted to help himself, there was nothing I could do, and that I should just look after myself.
In November he fell and broke his foot whilst I was in the US visiting my family. He was in hospital for about 4 weeks, then sent home and has been in a hospital bed in our living room ever since. I had carers coming in daily to move him to a chair via a hoist, and then later back to bed again. Physios came once a week and gave him exercises to do, which he didn’t want to do so I had to stand over him and make him exercise.
After 8 months he still can’t stand or walk. Last week he became severely confused and didn’t know where he was. I called 111 and they in turn called an ambulance. Last night I was told by the hospital consultant to prepare for the worst, because his body is shutting down due to liver disease.
All my family are in the US. His siblings are not nearby so I’m in this on my own. I’ve told them he was in hospital, but not what I was told yesterday. They’re all in their 70’s, so a lot older than us. He’s the youngest out if 4 of them. I don’t know how I’m going to tell them.
My emotions are all over the place. Sadness, guilt for not being able to help him, and anger at him for not helping himself. I’m still trying to process everything.
When the inevitable happens I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Will the hospital help or advise me? Where do I start? I’m lost.
Thanks for listening.
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