Hello, I’m Stacy, nearing 50 this year and full time caring for my 84 year old Mother who has Dementia.
Quick background: Father died of Cancer about 18 years ago, horrible 2 years. Sister of Alcoholism 3 years ago, horrible 28 years! No other family left. I moved in permanently with my Mother over 5 years ago as she was finding it difficult to manage life. But it got worse after Covid and she lost a lot of her ‘’ Brain faculties" as I call them. Last year I left my full time 7 year job to care for her and now stay at home with her 24/7. She has Dementia which is progressing every day. She can still walk, talk and go to the toilet but some days that is about it.
I came to this forum as I am now finding it increasing difficult to try to be a good carer, its breaking my heart to see her in this way and so cold to me and far away and i feel angry when i know i should be better than this, yet I have to give up my life for her…Not that i don’t want to, I made that choice but it gets harder every day to think I made the right one and i feel i should be able to help her more.
It’s making me sick physically, she is also nearly deaf so I have to shout anything for her to hear, which is causing me constant stress as i am a quiet speaker and she thinks i am always nasty to her due to the shouting, yet she refuses to put in her hearing aid. What can I do to calm this situation and make it better for us both?
Much as i love her I also think all the traits in the personality get worse with Dementia!
Thanks
Stacy
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