Split from: Advice caring for adult son with mental illness - #7
Hi Tracey I am so sorry to hear this I know exactly what you are going through . I am
In the exact same situation . I am alone and family do not want to know about us . My son is 44 now and has been under section 3 for 27 years . He is due to move to support living in the next two weeks he has been staying at his new placement for the last two nights for the first time . He spent sometime at home with me today . He looks shattered said he did not sleep last night . Has a blood shot eye . I asked him what did you do the last two days what did you eat ? He replied pot noodle for breakfast. Out for junk food and buying vapes with a nurse. Back home three small pizzas from the freezer . Watched 4 films in his new bedroom thats around 6/7 hrs watching tv . Today he put the tv on and turned it off very quickly put his hand to his face and said I can’t watch anymore tv . Is this what support living is about sticking my son in his bedroom to watch 6/7 hrs of tv in one day. Out for an hour to the shops . No proper food in support living . I know they have just opened up as a business for 6 residents but my son is the first one as a resident and trying to transition my son into support living in the meantime. But why no proper meal? My son has been in hospital for 27 years and does not know how to cook and look after himself independently.
I asked my son do you prefer hospital where you are now or your new place he replied the new place . Next question do you prefer to live at home or the new place he replied at home . I have the space as his sisters moved out years ago I have three bedrooms one for myself . One for my son’s relaxing room with tv and sofa and a bedroom for himself and one shower room / toilet downstairs .
I am 66 now and retired last year .
We have a special bond between us he is extremely vulnerable and would need escorting at all times .
Do I let my son go to support living and a possibility of relapse due to the amount of stress put upon him ie food shopping , cooking for himself , washing his own clothes , etc
If he relapses he will end up back in a psychiatric ward number 23 in 27 years or do I look after him at home.
What happens when I reach 85 and my son then will be 63 years of age .
What’s happens if I can’t cope
I could never put him back into psychiatric ward again after moving him back home that would break him .
My son is always saying mum what will I do without you when your gone who will
Care for me ?
I always say adam we will
Always be together .
Do I do the right thing as a mother and let him come home to live and when I get older he goes back into support living for good and at least I did something for him.
I would have given him some normality living at home for a while at least or do I leave him
in support living .
What care package would I get like myself having time to do things for myself hair done , little time at gym to unwind so basically having some respite where a support worker would then come to my home to support my son a few days a week.
I know 100% my son would never be able to live on his own .
I adore my son he is a wonderful young man but unfortunately so unwell but liked by so
many staff within the hospitals . He does get a bit angry and becomes delusional . He gets angry not towards me yet ! But when he talks about someone he dislikes he gets angry . Then calms down …
He is extremely stubborn but adorable
What is the best advice please ?
His new support living or back home to live ?
4 posts - 3 participants